Nine years ago, I was living in a house that I rented from my son which was next door to his. Shortly after I told my son that I was getting married, he became angry at me and told me to move out immediately. The reasons for this didn’t make sense then, nor do they now. I felt hurt and angry and didn’t understand how he could do something that felt so hateful to me.
He didn’t speak to me or allow me to see me grandson for three long years. The pain that I felt was nearly overwhelming. I had been a Course In Miracles student for many years. I knew that the only way that I would know any peace was to forgive him. I prayed for the willingness to do so. It was difficult because my ego kept reminding me that “I didn’t do anything to deserve this”. I persevered and began to feel some peace.
I missed my son and grandson terribly. I read a story about an organization called “ChemoAngels” who assign people to support someone who has cancer and is going through chemo-therapy. I was strongly led to sign up to be an angel for someone. I was given a little boy who was three years old, the exact age as my grandson. I was his “angel” for the next three years. It was as though the Holy Spirit had given me a child to love during this lonely time of missing my grandson.
Three years later, I visited my step-father at the hospital and saw both my son and grandson there. Because I had forgiven him, I walked up to my son and we hugged as if nothing had happened. Today, he is a Course In Miracles student. One day he asked me how he could forgive someone whom he felt had done something nearly “unforgivable” to him. I told him to do it the same way that I had forgiven him; to cease to judge them. What peace that brings!
Ricki Walsh Holman